Instead of a mid life crisis, I’ve found myself stuck in what might be a quarter life crisis. When is life going to feel like it’s supposed to?” Is something I’ve begun to ask myself. Every day.
I turned 20 almost 6 months ago, and since then I’ve either put myself down for not being ‘successful’ enough or I work with no end to get to the point I think I need to be at.
That’s normal right? Everyone successful has to work hard, hustle, grind all that. We need to learn to work hard, whilst simultaneously loving the journey. Giving everything our all, because we only have one chance at every passing moment.
Without hard work, no one would reach their goals, but no one expects you to work till your health is affected. I recently overworked till I couldn’t move my left arm, and had a total of 5 hours of sleep over 3 days(finals).
Then I see other 20 year olds, and they seem to be happy. They seem to be achieving everything they want to, and sometimes everything I want to. It drives me mad, makes me feel horrible about where I am in my life.
I feel crushed by anxiety, over-thinking, confusion etc. It all racks my brain, a horrible thing accompanied by my search for myself.
But instead of creating a better future, I feel my time is often wasted doing dishes, finding dinner, doing work/college related things and many more mundane things. Or you know watching four seasons in a row of _________, while mindlessly scrolling through Instagram.
We sometimes are too hard on ourselves. When the picture in our head of how we were supposed to be by now, and what we look around and see don’t match; we get angry. Whether that anger comes onto ourselves, onto the world, our work or the people around us it is not healthy.
It took me a while to realize, but I’m on my own journey. I have my whole life ahead of me, people think I wasted time, made mistakes. What no one knows is that(or rather everyone forgets), everything happens for a reason. I learnt from my mistakes, I faced my problems with a smile. I get back up- every time I was pushed down.
I’ve come a long way, and so have you. We have a long way to go, let’s go together.
Written by Dhavinya Saba