Guest Post: Girlfriend to Girlfriend

Here is another guest post I received, a letter from one friend to another, to encourage them to be a stronger person. Have a read:

To: You

From: Me

With more love than it’s probably going to sound like.

I need to say this, because it’s affected our relationship, on my half at least. Remember those conversations we used to have about “Those types of girls”…?

The girls who made themselves so completely and utterly available whenever he called or text
The girls who, no matter what plans they originally had, would drop them to be with him
The girls who displayed no self-worth, no self esteem, as if they had none
The ones who constantly put some dude’s feelings before their own, even when they know they’d never choose to be treated like that.
… all just to have a HIM
The girls who didn’t care if the him was theirs, shared or otherwise.

Well, I’m starting to think you are one…

I’m not passing judgment. I just need to know what type of people I have in my circle. You know what they say, “Birds of a feather…”

It’s been so challenging not to impose my feelings on your situation. Hey, it’s not my business. I just want you to know, you don’t have to make it seem like you loathe this dude as much as I do, when you really don’t. Or keep up with the same story that we both know is untrue about you being “done” or not being able to “do this anymore”, because you’re not done and you are still going to do this. I guess what I’m saying is, I’d respect the situation more if you’d be more upfront with yourself. I wonder if you know what’s up and you’re just in denial, or whether you really can’t see what’s going on. I used to be able to give a solid ‘Nope, not my girl. She wouldn’t tolerate that’, but now I hesitate…

I feel bad that our relationship has suffered because of what you are going through. I have to be honest, I can’t relate to what you’re going through. And I really don’t ever want to. This is the reason I have been distant; the reason I may hesitate to invite you out. I don’t see you as that person. I didn’t know you were that person?! My friend-self and my commonsense-self get so easily conflicted when it comes to you and your situation. I want to be there for you, listen to what you’re going through, watch movies and drink wine, doing the best we can to take our minds off the situation. But it takes everything in me not to scream “ENOUGH ALREADY WITH THE NONSENSE!” You are either in, or you’re out, girl. You knew exactly what you were getting into when you signed on the dotted line. Even if it was somewhere in the small print, you ending up here should be the very last surprise. In my mind, it’s better to be honest with yourself.

‘Hey, I just want to be with this person REGARDLESS of how they treat me. This is who I want.’

I would understand that more.

I absolutely go through my own ‘He’s just not that into you’ moments, trust me. But what scares me about you, is that I don’t see your end point. Where do you draw the line? When do YOU matter more? Because right now, you’re living HIS happiness.

Listen, I hear your words, but I see your pain. I’m the one who has to pick up the pieces after you’ve volunteered yourself for affliction. And once the cycle has started, and you end up back with the ‘Big Bad Wolf’, I’m the person who needs to learn to forgive and forget {until next time that is}… It’s not that easy for me and I wish I could extend some of this particular strength to you…If happiness is what you’re looking for, you’re not going to find it with someone who treats you like that, my love. If he wanted you to be his girlfriend, you would be it. If he wasn’t keeping the other girl around for a REASON, she’d be gone. If he was “so happy” with the new one like he claims, he wouldn’t still be chasing you.

I see all you’re worth. Everything you’re capable of. All the great silly, quirky, intelligent, sexy things that make you an AMAZING person and make you even MORE deserving of someone who meets YOUR standards. I love you girl, and I only wish you the best. I’m sorry if I can’t be your crying shoulder on this one anymore. I want you to move past this, and I’m realizing it’s something you’ll have to do on your own, I can’t push you. By the time you’re back to the girl I know and love, I’ll be here, ready to talk about your disappearing act on behalf of some dude for months on end, but nonetheless, I’ll be here…

All My Love

P.S. THANK YOU, for saving me heartache.

About author: El Michelle is author of ; An evolving collection of heartfelt, truthfully spoken literature, written on the basis of life experiences with romantic and personal relationships. 

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