Most of us women want to be successful in love, and many of us seek to find out what really works in our love lives and relationships.
But after listening to dating coach Matthew Hussey's video on “What It Really Means Being A High Value Woman”, I then had an ephihany that literally knocked me off my sleepy pedestal and moved me to write an entirely new article for this week's blog at 1 AM in the morning even after having completed an article which I was preparing for days.
Being a high value woman is more than just being attractive to men, and being successful in her love life.
It is about being powerful women who are able to share, teach and more importantly, be, the feminine qualities of compassion, empathy, love and joy to the world, to people around them, uplifting, inspiring others. It is about being the best of what we can be as human beings, imparting values of honesty, integrity, courage, strength, and truth.
A woman of a high value knows that it's not so much about trying to impress and prove herself to those who just don't see her worth - it's about constantly trying to better herself.
She knows that only those who can truly see her worth and who shares the same values are the ones worth keeping around . . .
The Wrong Way Round
Sometimes, we get too caught up trying to impress others, or we try way too hard. We think too hard about what we should or shouldn't say, because someone told us that maybe we should do otherwise. We are careful about being "too" sensitive, and sometimes our upbringing also affect us as women in a way.
For example, when I was younger, I was told that it was better not to be“too strong” as a woman because there is no need for that since my husband should be the one who is the breadwinner and handle all the affairs of the family. I then somehow developed the thinking that I shouldn't be too “successful,” because that would make me too “strong” and hence unattractive compared to traditional gentle, soft women.
Then it was when my father passed on, leaving us in a financial pit-hole when I realized the conflict and in-discrepancy that comes with that thinking,.. because not being independent could set us women up for a hell lot of crap too....
I also somehow gotten the idea that I should keep all my opinions to myself, and to be “nice”. I kept my mouth shut even though I didn't agree with many things and intuitively knew they were not quite right.
I “put up” with things, seethed quietly, thinking that's what make me a “nice” person, when reality was, never mind I wasn't being honest with myself and others, I completely tarnished my inner space and screwed up my emotional health with all the things I wished I have said.
Embracing Our Sensitivity
A lot of us women (and men as well actually) are known to be "sensitive". Many of us have been told that we are "too" sensitive, as to me, but it wasn't only until recently when I began to realise that my sensitivity was and has always been one of my greatest asset.
I intuitively "knew" things before I could reason it out rationally. I made certain decisions which was one of the best I have ever made in my life, one of which have saved my life, even when back then, it didn't logically made sense.
Sensitivity is something that can only be developed from within. It is stronger in some and less in others, but women are generally a lot more in-tune to the energies of the environment and emotions of others where we can just pick up on things. Hence, we are known to be a lot more "sensitive".
But that's okay.
That's why we are of the female gender, where we are wired biologically to have our menstrual cycles every month, where a lot of us will know intuitively when we are about to have our periods. It is the ability to be in-tune from within, when we know what we know, even without us knowing why or how.
It is truly an amazing trait to have, our sensitivity, hence, being a high value woman means owning it,.. and using it for the greatest good :-
Choosing to emphatize and be in tune to others' feelings.
Choosing to be bigger than our egos rather than giving in to it.
Choosing to understand rather than retaliate and be spiteful, and choosing love over anger and hatred.
A High Value Woman
But, here is where being a woman of a value kicks into high gear.
When we opt to have a balance of of the masculine qualities of honesty, loyalty, strength and at the same time, we engage in the playful feminine qualitities of being loving, fun, carefree and joyful.
We have 2 aspects that goes with the quality of strength.
We are strong in the sense we can allow ourselves to be vulnerable as a feminine woman, allowing our man to be a man. Then there is the strength that comes with being able to independent and resolve things by ourselves.
We are sensitive, have compassion and empathy for others. Yet, we respect and honor ourselves enough to speak up for ourselves, taking action and making decisions that make our boundaries absolutely, clear.
A Kick Ass High Value Woman
Courage - A True Warrior
Then here is another aspect that what makes a high value woman a real kick ass one.
A quality that all true warriors possess. Courage.
And I don't mean the simple, blasé one - I mean, real, inner courage.
The kind that comes with the strength to have the honesty and capacity to deal with the truth. The courage to be honest with ourselves about the darker aspects of ourselves, and to own and take responsibility for it. The courage to be truthful in all situations, to ourselves and also to others. The strength to love fearlessly, fiercely and loyally and be kind to ourselves and to others as well.
A balance of both masculine and feminine qualities.
The Courage to Trust And Forgive Herself
A high value woman is always constantly learning to follow her instincts, intuition and trusting in herself. She will be unafraid to take the lead, and walk the path by herself if she needs to.
It is also having compassion for herself, picking herself up after she made a mistake, courageously and gracefully owning and loving herself for it despite what anybody else might think.
The Attractive, Kick Ass High Value Woman
She is the one who learns, and continues learning how to balance all feminine and masculine qualities.
She knows exactly where she stands as a beautiful, feminine woman of Light; having all the qualities of love, gentleness, kindness, grace, compassion, empathy and understanding. Yet, she is never too soft and gentle to the point of being taken advantage of, and embodies the strong qualities of honesty, integrity, courage and truth.
That's what makes her attractive.
That's what being a high value woman really is all about.
A woman who seeks to achieve high values in her life, not only for herself, or for the lucky one who has won a permanent place in her heart, but for every soul, who has the opportunity to cross paths with her.
It is about contributing the best version of herself to everyone around her, and constantly becoming better and better, not for any other reason than just "because"...